Brooklyn Beefsteak

On Sunday, March 21st, 2010, two of my friends and I attended Brooklyn Beefsteak, an all-you-can-eat, all-you-can-drink, gluttonous beef-fest at the Bell House in Brooklyn.  A modern foodie take on the Tammany Hall vote buying days (without the corruption, of course), the Brooklyn Beefsteak was quite a debaucherous event.  Needless to say, I had been looking forward to it for weeks.

The event lived up to all of my expectations.  It wasn't really all-you-can-eat, but I definitely had at least one sizable steak's worth of meat.  The beef came in the form of small, perfectly cooked, Pat La Frieda steak slices served on baguette rounds.  While we waited for our drunk-off-his-ass waiter to deliver the juicy meat, we busied ourselves with shelling and eating the peanuts sitting in front of us.  When the waiter would finally arrive with a fresh platter full of beef, we reached our grubby, greedy little hands out and grabbed as many pieces as we could manage.  All bets were off; chivalry, manners, respect, civility, and anything of the sort had been left at the door.  There were no utensils, the beer flowed endlessly, and the pickles... oh, the pickles!  The highlight of the meal were the sliders, which also came atop baguette rounds, but I only saw one of those.  After the first hour, the crowd got rowdy.  We were dancing on the benches, others were partaking in an eating contest, while still others were building towers out of beer cups and the orphaned slices of baguette, all to the sweet tunes of the Susquehanna Industrial Tool & Die Company.  At one point, we all broke into communal song, led by the band, chanting "Beef, beef, beef, beef -- Beef, beef, beef, beef," and slurring the words to the Song of the Beefsteak, whose lyrics had been printed and placed all along the tables.  As we sang, 

The Beefsteak is here -- and you've got a seat

It's all-you-can-drink -- it's all-you-can-eat

So loosen your belt -- and stuff yourself sore

The Beefsteak is here, let out a cheer, gimmee some more!

with our arms around one another, feeling slightly nauseous, but with greasy, wobbly grins on our faces, I knew that I had found some sort of holy grail.

To all my fellow beefsteakers, thank you.  I will never forget you or the amazing night we shared.  See you next year.